SackFAQ
From SackWiki
The original sack FAQ
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The Sackheads FAQ
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What is Sackheads/Sacknet ?
A crack commando unit that was sent to prison in 1972 by a military
court for a crime they did not commit. These men promptly escaped from
a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still
wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have
a problem, and no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can
hire The Sackheads.
Ok. Not really. Sackheads began as an IRC channel called #tv53 on brian's machine at home.. People (david, and gollum, and cheesy, really) would dial up, check his web page to see if he was dialed up, and if so, connect. It eventually moved to carson's ethernetted machine at Transy and became #sackheads. Ever drifting, #sackheads moved next to anakin.cs.transy.edu (long live the fighters!!) and then to sloopy, where it currently still resides (in part.) It has also spread to other machines, which are detailed below, and other media as well. The Sacknet has grown in population as well, but I'm not about to start keeping a bloody roster. Everyone who will read this document knows all of this, why am I wasting my time typing it? So that future historians can ponder over the mysterious cult that toppled human civili[sz]ation? Nope, I think it's best to keep them in the dark. So, onward and upward.
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Why is it called "Sackheads"? Are you a bunch of KKK freaks?
No. That unfortunately seems to be the most common interpretation of the name. "Sackheads" refers to an image of a RenÈ Magritte painting distributed by carson as a jpeg when #sackheads was originally formed. This painting instilled a driving hunger for "DARK ART" in david, which could only be sated by more and more such paintings. Eventually carson ran out and david got over it, but the name remained.
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How can I get to the Sacknet?
a) IRC
You can get to #sackheads by pointing your irc client to one of the
following:
baler
forbidden
sloopy somtimes maybe if'n it aint a hurst shifter you can find
b) NEWS
penfold and baler carry the sackheads.* hierarchy.
c) MAILING LIST(S)
sackheads@sackheads.org. Individual email aliases are also available.
d) WWW
http://www.sackheads.org/ - main site http://www.sackheads.org/News/ - random news postings http://news.sackheads.org/ - info on sackheads.* http://k-one.uk.sackheads.org/ - UK Headquarters
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Don't you guys have anything better to be doing with your time?
No, not really.
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Is any of this archived?
Yes, much the funny stuff goes in brian's fortunes file. Also, penfold (at least) doesn't expire sackheads.* so it's all here, for all eternity. Maybe I should write a search engine.
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Who the hell is ZimBot?
You can lose that tone right now, buddy! Put on your best manners when you're talking about Zimby. He reigns over #sackheads and keeps a close watch on things to prevent any mischief.
a) Ok, why is he called Zimbot?
Because when brian first began adapting him from AIXBot v1 code, he had just finished reading Scott Adams' _The_Dilbert_Principle_ and had for some reason latched onto the character "Zimbu the Monkey." That's the whole of it.
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How can I learn to do The Flatty Dance ?
You can't. You can only watch.
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Does tif ever talk?
Yes, sometimes. Whether or not you should listen is a personal matter.
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What is a wine spritzer and why does david drink them all the time?
Put some ice in a glass, fill it 1/4 of the way full with spritzer (or club soda, if you're like brian and want to cause david to wince,) fill the rest with some sort of wine.
"Makes bad wine good, makes good wine better." --david
As to why he drinks them all the time, no one really knows.
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What significance does the number 300 have?
None whatsoever. Don't listen to david, he's wrong. How many games can you get for the Atari 2600? Lots. Does that make it a good game system? No. It *is* a good game system, btw, that was just an example. OK so he fell off the wagon when bex bought him one.... everybody changes
==== HAS ANYONE HERE EVER HEARD OF WALES?????? ==== Yes, but all we know about it is that it's the place Princess Diana was the princess of (please note that great effort is expended to avoid saying "where Princess Diana was from." Thanks, John.) No clues about where it might be located. I suspect some people might have never seen "Wales" in print and simply assumed that they were saying "Diana, Princess of Whales" on Entertainment Tonight (which isn't really that implausible, considering..) You know, like "I AM THE LIZARD KING" etc.
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What is a Flatty Lunch? (Answer provided by Gollum)
Flatty is famous for his lunches. After watching him take these lunches for a year, I thought that he must have a plan to take these lunches so strategically. Then I thought again; this is flatty, so that theory goes out the window. Here's how they pretty much happen though, if you ever want to emulate the flat one:
a) Consult with all members of the team to find out when it would be
most inconvenient to them for you not to be around.
b) Leave 10 minutes prior to that time (don't want them accidentally
'catching' you on your way out.)
c) Insure that the lunch takes at least 1hr and 45 minutes....any less
and people wouldn't be confused as to whether you were returning.
d) Walk in like everything was normal....other faces may be red with
frustration, but hell, it's their fault that they didn't take a flatty
lunch!
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Whatever happened to the net.scourge known only as 'Cheesy'?
He rashly ventured out into what is colloquially referred to as "The Big Blue Room." Unprepared for the disorienting nature of this region and the near-total lack of communication with civili[sz]ed humanity, Cheesy quickly spiraled to an unknown, but assuredly terrible, fate. Occasional sightings are reported by normally trustworthy sources, but we must discount these tales as mere fantasy, illusions unconsciously summoned as the mind's last defen[cs]e against the truly horrific reality of Cheesy's demise.
His last words remain a mystery, but a reconstruction has been attempted, largely based on wildly spread rumou?rs:
<jpayne> !zimbot whereis cheesy -ZimBot- cheesy left 11 hrs ago (Left the channel), with a last statement of: -ZimBot- 11 hrs: wrong network neway
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Who is this jpayne, then?
I dunno, apparently some guy that works with Ian. He never says much. He does favor a Guinness now and then so if you're there go get 'em both and buy them as many pints as possible (preferably when there's a problem back at their shop).
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I just bought something called a 'Gollum' from an old man in Chinatown.
How do I keep it alive? [submitted by david]
The Care and Feeding of your Gollum
You've entered an exciting and stressful time in your life with
the acquisition of your very own Gollum(c). Your Gollum will bring you, with
some exceptions, hours and hours of mind-numbing boredom and minutes of
highly stressful anxiety. This guide has been written to help you in this
time of transition in your life.
o - Caring for your Gollum
The Gollum is very easy to care for but there are strict rules to be
adhered to; some follow :
- Do NOT leave your Gollum alone with NO alcoholic beverages.
it will run away
- Do NOT leave your Gollum alone WITH alcoholic beverages.
it will consume them all and feign ignorance
- Do NOT leave your Gollum alone with a member of its opposite sex
WHILST it is INTOXICATED.
bad things happen (thus FreakShow I/II and FS: The Return)
- NEVER leave the Gollum in a Bar.
Bars don't run out.
- Be prepared to keep your Gollum company all night.
Gollum can GO (see above)
- Do NOT leave your Gollum intoxicated and near a phone.
you will regret it and it will deny everything
o - Feeding your Gollum
DO NOT DESPAIR!!!! Your Gollum /will/ eat /some/ foods.
It's basic sustenance is alcohol but in a pinch it will eat most red
meats, potatoes, and chicken (if pushed).
- Do NOT attempt to feed the Gollum anything resembling a vegetable.
it won't like it and you won't like the Gollum afterwards
- Do NOT attempt to feed the Gollum any kind of spice.
if it ain't plain it ain't eatin' it
- Do NOT attempt to introduce "new" foods into the Gollum's diet.
it will simply answer your enquiry with "NO! what is it ?"
- DO keep plenty of alcoholic beverages (please see Caring for...)
it will hover less and everyone will be able to breathe
- DO keep plenty of Entemann's chocolate covered donuts.
it will consume them all (but most likely when you are not looking.)
- DO keep plenty of HoHo's/ringdings/dingdong pastry like substances.
as it likes them with its steak
o - NEW MODEL
- Look for the gold-chain-wearing-slick-Gollum on shelves near YOU !
Purported to come with the Gollum TransAM.
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What is it with all the new guys ? and why don't they ever get into FAQ/Fortunes?
Well we're like a fungus... a slow creeping fungus...with leathermen.
(except for cheesy who had his lifted by a chess game)
So just for the fsck of it archoncerebusroodrfcowboydave
better living thru connectivity
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Why is david such an orny BASTARD ?
there are several possible answers to this question :
- When he was a baby someone took his leatherman and refused to let him have it back. This caused him to become quite obsessed with leatherman in general and we all know that leatherman == BASTARD
- His parents were HIPPIES.
- Blame the Brits
- An OS caused it...namely <insert hated OS here>
- His innate bastardliness is so deeply rooted that it's akin to religion ... and he, of course, is evangelical about it
- Naylor talked him into it .. we all know he of the silver tongue
- Whatever, Gollum is worse.
- He's not. He's a loving, caring, sweetie. You just have to hug him a lot.
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Help, help my head hurts, I just read the Sackheads FAQ.
Can't see why your brain would hurt, it's not as if it's a thesis on quantum bogodynamics. Take two quaaludes and call me in the morning. OR if you're averse to drugs try http://www.trepan.com (yes...that's the only reason I even ventured into this dir)
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